Japanese and American

New semester has began and I'm taking 5,6 classes now. I might drop one of the classes but it's gonna be busy for sure. I've gotta start thinking about my future, after I go back to Japan. That gives me headache.

Recently, sometimes I feel alone, lonely. When I said " what the hell?" My bf said "watch your language!" He asked me not to swear, doesn't want me to use those bad English. Caz I'm Japanese learning English. But do you know how much he swears?! As long as I know that is bad, I think it's not a big problem. I wanna speak English normally, like American. I pay attention to my pronounciaton much more than before. I hope it works. My girl friends use a lot of swear. I don't want them to treat me as soeacial caz I'm from Japan, caz I'm learning English caz I'm an exchange student. Yet when they were talking about the TV shows that they used to watch when they were young, that made me think like I and they are different. Or how about the joke, kidding, sarcasm, humour? Right now, honestly, I don't think I can get those funny things together. It's interesting, it's funny, but I don't know, for me it's just hard to understand. It will take long time to laugh, enjoy that time. I don't think America is the best nor Japan. The more I try to speak like American, The less it works, I guess. I mean, it is not working lol A lot of phrases that I wanna tell them come up to my mind in Japanese. I can't translate them well. I know those are not the same as what I exactly wanna say. That make me sad and feel lonely. Sometimes I even think the different nationality is one of my complexes. I'm kinda disappointed at myself. I can't think in positive way. How long does it take to be a person who I wanna be like? Will I be able to be?

This weekend will be much fun. My friend who took the same econ class last semester asked me to hang out and also for intramural, I'll be playing basketball with guys! That will be much fun :c)
I have to stop thinking too much, worry too much.

新学期に入って、色々騒がしい毎日になってます。早速リーディングだとか、アサイメントの提出だとかの期日チェックに追われて笑 色々いつもみたいに後回しにしてたらあかんと思ってます。あはは。

アメリカ人と一緒にいると楽しい。ジョーダンとか、sarcasmとか。でもやっぱりゆりはまだ基本的に”英語”の感覚が身についてないと思う。前学期の方は、結構英語頭になりかけてたころやったと思うけど、今学期の始めにはまた逆戻り?英語のslungの感覚とか、面白さとか、ユーモアとか、やっぱりアメリカ人と自分は違うのかなって思ったり。過ごしてきた青春時代の違い??それともゆりの英語力の問題?あぁ。あれこれ考えるとしんどくなる一方。でも今はチョット下がり気味の時期みたい。TOEICや漢検とか、就活とか、帰国後のことを考えてる自分と、周りにいる友達と比べると、余計に差を感じる今日この頃。難しいな、人生って。
[PR]

by y_u_b_o0912 | 2006-02-02 13:23 | myself  

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